


getting in a car with a beautiful boy (and other horrific decisions)

by neopunch (caihongs)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas, Enemies to Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Huang Ren Jun is Whipped, M/M, Miscommunication, Not Beta Read, Road Trips, but unrequited - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28806732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caihongs/pseuds/neopunch
Summary: If Renjun had a set of brains on him, he would know that going on a six-hour-long road trip with someone who hates his guts is not a good idea. Spending a prolonged amount of time with someone he fucked over the moment he made out with said person’s crush all the whileknowingabout their massive crush becausetheytold you about it doesn’t really screamgood idea.Alternatively, Renjun gets into the car with a beautiful boy and realises that Mark doesn't hate him as much as he thinks.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee
Comments: 10
Kudos: 125
Collections: Markren Secret Santa 2020





	getting in a car with a beautiful boy (and other horrific decisions)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [je_oh_no](https://archiveofourown.org/users/je_oh_no/gifts).



> happy #markrenss20 everyone! this is much delayed due to me being a fool and making my own horrific decisions but here you go nikki! it's a silly fic but i hope you enjoy it nevertheless!
> 
> i wanted to say a big ole thanks to toast and rachel for organising this in the first place + for q for inviting me to join the ride! meeting all of the mrss friends has been a joy and a xmas present within itself- i love you all very much <3
> 
> and to you who's reading this, i hope 2021 is treating you well so far! enjoy :>
> 
> title adapted from [you are jeff](https://genius.com/13045258) by richard siken

If Renjun had a set of brains on him, he would know that going on a six-hour-long road trip with someone who hates his guts is not a good idea. Spending a prolonged amount of time with someone he fucked over the moment he made out with said person’s crush all the while _knowing_ about their massive crush because _they_ told you about it doesn’t really scream _good idea_.

So yes, maybe Renjun made out with Dejun at Yukhei’s party right in front of Mark and now the guy detests him with every bone in his body. 

In Renjun’s defence, he was inebriated. Though it was only a bottle of blueberry soju and Renjun is a notorious heavyweight, he was not exactly in his right state of mind. There was a dirty leather couch, lots of candy wrappers thanks to Yukhei’s candy dispensing machine he bought off Amazon for eighty-dollars-too-much, and Dejun’s face too close to Renjun’s for him not to do something incredibly stupid. 

You see, Mark and Renjun aren’t the closest of friends. Never were even pre-Renjun’s-massive-fuck-up, just mutuals as a result of Jaemin and Donghyuck, and the only reason why Mark told Renjun that he was catching feelings for the guy in his Lit class was indeed, because he too, was inebriated. 

First and foremost, the common element within these equations is the alcohol. Renjun would argue that the avalanche of bad happenings has been Yukhei being the supply of alcohol in the first place, but he couldn’t blame his best friend for _his_ inherent shortcomings as a human being—he’s a terrible person but not that terrible. 

It was again at Yukhei’s gigantic house, where you could be dying at one end and someone on the other end wouldn’t be able to hear you at all, and Mark had suffered an unfortunate case of a triple-crown rock, paper, scissors loss, having to chug an entire jug of the horrific punch that Yangyang made as a result, and feeling ill at the quarter-mark. Slumping over Renjun’s sober form, the architecture student rubbed his face into Renjun’s shoulder before bursting into quiet sobs, again into Renjun’s shoulder.

  
  


“Dude, you alright?” Renjun whispers and Mark lets out a hiccup before shaking his head, his forehead pressed against the side of Renjun’s denim jacket.

  
  


“Hey, hey, sit up, it’s okay. You’re okay Mark.” Renjun isn’t a stranger to drunken breakdowns, but his actions are stilted when it comes to more-than-strangers-less-than-friends like Mark Lee. Nevertheless, Mark listens to him and sits up, his eyeliner smudged past repair and Renjun lets out a sigh. He wouldn’t have volunteered himself to be the designated driver if he knew Mark, of all people, was going to be the drunken breakdown in question. They’re not close enough for Renjun to be comfortable comforting him, because he knows they’re similar in one way. They’re closed off, not ones for D&Ms unless someone has chipped their way through porcelain walls and into their lives (re: Jaemin and Donghyuck), and they have no choice but to open up. So Renjun doesn’t want to take advantage of sloppy, heart hung out to dry, limbs splayed across the couch and on Renjun’s thigh, Mark Lee, because he knows he’d hate to be in that position himself. 

  
  


“No I’m not! I—Do you see him Renjun?” Mark points with a shaky finger at the kitchen. Renjun grumbles under his breath as he hoists Mark up so he isn’t falling off the couch, follows the vector, and spots the culprit.

  
  


“What did he do to you?” As far as Renjun is aware, though he tries not to be nosy, Dejun wasn’t a seasoned heartbreaker.

  
  


“He— He’s so _cute!_ Perfect, handsome, smart, and— NOT INTO ME!” Mark takes for diving back into Renjun’s shoulder and wailing again. Thank God the music is blasting ten decibels above I-can-hear-you-talking-about-me-across-the-room volume otherwise Dejun would have given them a look that would probably obliterate Mark Lee into even smaller fragments than he already is in.

  
  


“Oh Mark, it’s okay— have you… told him?” Renjun winces at his own tone, a pitch higher and softer to attune himself to Mark’s needs at the current moment while the rest of their friends gallivant across the house, wreaking havoc for Yukhei to groan at when he wakes up in the bathroom tomorrow. Much like placating a young child when they’ve experienced something horrific that you know will score an indelible mark on their memory and childhood. Take divorce for an instance. Too dark? If it wasn’t glaringly obvious, Renjun does _not_ want to be consoling a heartbroken Mark Lee at 3AM on a Saturday. 

  
  


“No! Christ, him and Yukhei are probably fucking. No, him and Jungwoo! They posted a photo on Instagram the other day, God they looked so good.” Mark’s voice trails off into nothing as he acknowledges the aesthetic chemistry Jungwoo and the love of his life—Renjun remarks to himself cynically—have together. Renjun knows what photo he’s talking about too, and he’s right. But how you wouldn’t tell a child of divorce that they’re partially the reason for the split, Renjun doesn’t tell Mark that he’s right.

  
  


“Hey, I think you guys would look that good together too, Mark.” Renjun says calmly, dropping the softness for honesty, which although inebriated-Mark can’t appreciate now, Renjun himself will be at ease knowing he followed his moral compass some what tonight.

  
  


“You’re jus’ sayin’ that.” Mark says groggily, looking up at Renjun with foggy eyes, his fringe matted over his forehead from his sweat and tears. Despite everything, Mark is still so pretty when he’s like this, all puffy and raccoon-eyed from a mistaken opt for non-waterproof eyeliner. Maybe it’s Renjun’s partiality to finding people most attractive when they’re dismantled to show their most vulnerable parts, all mangled wires and rusty screws. He never thought he’d be one to witness Mark in such a state, given that they’ve really had no reason to meet and get to know each other individually apart from their mutual links, and yet here they are. 

  
  


“I mean it though.” Renjun echoes softly, unsure of when Mark will finally let up and knock out in his arms, and Mark looks up again, his eyes glistening like someone has given him the galaxies for irises, and Renjun has the breath stolen from his lungs for a split second. So maybe he is feeding Mark a white lie, but if he keeps looking at him like this, Renjun, dazedly, doesn’t know if he wants to stop.

  
  


“I don’t think you’ve ever lied in your life before Renjun. I believe you.” With that, Mark conks out and Renjun is left on Yukhei Wong’s stained leather couch with Mark Lee sleeping in his lap. 

  
  


Well, Mark was wrong. Renjun is a big, fat liar, and the ugly thing rears its head when he tells Donghyuck that he’s completely fine with going on a six-hour-long road trip with Mark Lee back to their hometown. Somehow, the two have lived in the same town for their entire lives and never crossed paths up until freshman year when Donghyuck introduced Renjun to his family friend and only now, with the holidays coming and Renjun’s parents calling him every other day to ask when he was coming back home, did Renjun realise desperately, that he needed a ride home. A flight back was way too out of his budget, especially during this time, and when Donghyuck had _deliberately_ let it slip that Mark happened to be going back home, Renjun knew he had to bite the bullet and ask.

  
  


“Wh—what city is Mark from?” Renjun asks quietly, and Donghyuck whips his head around and stares, long and hard.

  
  


“Where is Mark from, you ask?” Donghyuck responds sneeringly, and Renjun retracts his whole body away from his best friend and leans as far back as his chair will allow him without him falling to a horrific, deserved end.

  
  


“You know I’m desperate for a ride home. My grandma won’t forgive me until the day she dies. Or I get married to a nice Chinese girl from the mainland. Whatever happens last.” Renjun pleads now, and Donghyuck offers him the most pitiful look Renjun has ever seen him make in his life, before he slams his lemonade back down onto the marble kitchen counter.

  
  


“I’m like 99% sure he lives in the same town as you, maybe even the neighbouring block or something. But I never thought to bring it up because I swear you knew already, and well, after you committed that heinous act, I _really_ never thought to mention it. Ever.” Donghyuck punctuates with sips of his lemonade with his impossibly loud metal straw clinking against the side of the glass and Renjun thinks this might be the most opportune moment to take an L and free fall down to hell. 

  
  


“You’re kidding,” he says weakly, his head in his hands and Donghyuck shakes his head with a patronising slap to Renjun’s curved spine.

  
  


“You wish I was asshole, are you regretting your existence right about now?”

  
  


Renjun knows that he’s incredibly lucky to have Donghyuck in his life, considering everything. Not to say his entire friend group shunned him after the Incident, but they never quite looked at him the same, save for Jaemin who has never been able to detest a soul, but also is entirely desensitised to Renjun’s imbecilic actions and behaviour over the course of being roommates-turned-friends for so long. For Donghyuck, quite possibly one of the closest if not _the_ closest thing Mark has to a brother here, to still treat him civilly is something else, their cherished friendship aside. 

  
  


“Can you—can I get his phone number from you?” Renjun is resorting to his worst option that isn’t him risking death while hitching a ride on some nondescript highway in the Midwest and risking death.

  
  


“You really are desperate, aren’t you?” Donghyuck sticks his tongue in his cheek and smirks at Renjun, who has never felt as small as he does now, before he slides his phone over to Renjun.

  
  


“Here, send it to yourself and tell me how it goes, hm? I’m rooting for you moron.” He means it, and Renjun knows by the way his best friend stares at him for a second too long to be accidental. He only prays that he doesn’t fuck it up even more when Donghyuck grabs his bag and chugs the last of his soda before Renjun, with shaky hands, gives him back his phone.

  
  


“Thanks Hyuck. It means a lot.” In the face of Donghyuck Lee, Renjun is not the man he so prides himself to be, and so when Donghyuck calls him an asswipe on the way out, he doesn’t think he deserves to pinch the guy in the waist as he usually would.

  
  


Maybe risking death in the middle of shit-nowhere-America was the better option. 

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_Hey, this is Renjun. I got your number_

_from Donghyuck._

**_mark_ **

_Hi. What do you need?_

  
  


Renjun thanks his lucky stars that Mark isn’t already cussing him out or calling him a freak for using proper punctuation. He proceeds to the next message with caution.

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_Donghyuck told me you were_

_driving home for the holidays?_

_And I think we live in the same town?_

  
  


He starts like this, as to perk interest, if any interest in Renjun resides in Mark’s being right now.

  
  


**_mark_ **

_Oh really? That’s crazy haha._

_Is there a reason why you_

_mentioned this just now?_

  
  


Renjun winces and continues to type.

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_Right, it must have seemed random sorry._

  
  


God, he’s an idiot. Absolutely horrific at asking for a favour from someone who despises him greatly. Donghyuck had mentioned that Renjun lacked conviction in practically everything he tried his hand at, which hurt at the time, but now— _now_ he realises how bad it can get.

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_I’m so sorry to ask you this Mark,_

_but I was wondering if I could_

_grab a ride with you back home? My_

_parents really want me back but plane_

_tickets are out of my budget right now_

_and I don’t want them to pay for mine._

_You don’t have to say yes, of course._

_I understand._

  
  


Renjun spends the next thirty seconds biting down on his thumb until the spark of nerves trails up his entire arm and he jumps up from his own seat.

Mark doesn’t reply for another three minutes and Renjun is sure he’s blown it now. He’ll spend Christmas alone again, have his parents berate him over the phone in rapid fire Mandarin of how awful of a son he is for not wanting to spend time with them, him begging for forgiveness, an excuse about how the snow got really bad, his flight was cancelled. Or maybe he’ll feign sickness, a cough or two— 

  
  


**_mark_ **

_I understand. I’ll get back to you_

_as soon as I can._

  
  


Renjun groans, throws his phone across the counter, and promptly falls off the stool when he leans back too far and Jaemin opens the door to their apartment to find his roommate on the floor, writhing like a worm in dirt with his phone gripped in his hands like a lifeline. 

  
  


Jaemin avoids the mess on the floor and goes about having his shower and Renjun mourns the life he once lived pre-Dejun-Kiss.

  
  


It’s a Tuesday morning when Renjun hears his phone buzz at seven in the morning.

  
  


**_mark_ **

_I’m leaving on the 23rd_

_at around 8AM, is that alright?_

  
  


Renjun first questions his own eyesight, which is terrible at best, and almost screams bloody murder but muffles himself with his blanket to save himself from Jaemin’s wrath.

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_Hey! That’s perfect, thank you so much Mark!_

  
  


He should thank him somehow for saying yes. He has to. 

  
  


_I’ll pay for the gas._

  
  


Renjun tacks on at the end, knowing that he couldn’t take Mark out for dinner or attempt to pay him back without it translating into an incredibly delayed, shallow, insincere apology for what happened all those months ago. 

  
  


**_mark_ **

_Don’t mention it Renjun._

  
  


The proper capitalisation and punctuation sends Renjun into a tailspin. It sounds like Mark really means that and not in a euphemistic ‘don’t thank me, it’s no problem’ way but a ‘don’t mention a word at all’, or even a ‘don’t speak to me at all’. Renjun can’t blame Mark for anything actually, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It’s also Tuesday at seven in the morning for Christ’s sake—Renjun is sensitive even at a sensible time of day so having such a conversation now is messing with him bad.

  
  


“I can hear you thinking from here Jun.” Jaemin croaks out from outside Renjun’s doorframe and waddles over, clad in his flannel pajamas he got from Yangyang last Christmas, when Renjun lets out a sound of despair, writhing in his duvet like a worm.

  
  


“Look. He hates me, I know it.” Renjun gently shoves his iPhone in Jaemin’s face, and his roommate moves Renjun over with his hip to get onto his bed and observe the conversation closely.

  
  


“I think it’s just the lack of Gen Z textspeak, baby. If he wrote it with one exclamation mark, three abbreviations, and emojis littered throughout the whole thing, you wouldn’t bat an eye.” Jaemin lets the term of endearment slip, and Renjun whines, letting Jaemin coddle him with a hug.

  
  


“I can’t believe I had the audacity to ask him to drive me home.” Jaemin laughs at that, ruffling Renjun’s bed hair before grinning at the screen.

  
  


“Well, you better believe it now.” Jaemin tosses the phone back to him, and Renjun’s eyes bulge out at the sight.

  
  


**_mark_ **

_Hope you don’t mind my_ [ _playlist_ ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1t5tim7FMxdyr13HiBhdQK?si=7v2j6pJKSoCmI3Jzhk-G0Q)

_See you then :)_

  
  


Jaemin watches amusedly as his roommate combusts in real-time. 

  
  


So here begins the rapid descent of Renjun Huang. The playlist is much like what he expected of Mark: Bieber, Mendes, with a dash of Frank Ocean, but his questionable taste in music is far from Renjun’s main concern. The smiley face does something irreparable to Renjun’s emotional psyche, and he is violently reminded of Mark’s inherent kindness and inability to show any hatred even over the easiest channel to express such disdain—text. Now _he_ has to come up with a foolproof plan on how to make himself tolerable and make Mark’s life as painless as possible with his presence. Easy enough right? Renjun just has to conk out for six hours and ensure he doesn’t drool like a little baby or snore like a middle-aged Asian dad.

  
  


Donghyuck laughs in his face, a high cackle when Renjun lists his worries and concerns. Though Renjun expected this kind of response, it isn’t welcomed. Especially when Donghyuck responds with,

  
  


“Bad luck my man, hope you get well soon!” 

  
  


“I know I asked for this, but man—fuck you.” 

  
  


Donghyuck laughs again.

  
  


“You seem to solve all of your own self-made problems Jun! I believe in you!” Donghyuck says genuinely, but also with that maddening glint in his eye that tells Renjun all he needs to know. That he can’t rely on Donghyuck for any useful advice let alone advice at all. 

  
  


As winter break creeps ever closer, Jaemin skipping around their decked-out living room, with large potential as an IKEA showroom, and Renjun stress-wrapping all of his gifts for his little cousins, his parents, and grandparents, the kind grandma down the street, the anxiety levels are high. 

  
  
  


“Jaemin, I don’t know how to prepare for this. How do I act?!” Renjun asking the most dramatic, out-of-pocket person he knows is not his best decision, but then again, he is dealing with his most horrific decision yet. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

  
  


“Renjun, I swear you’re just making a bigger deal out of this than you need to. The dude even sent you his playlist. _And_ a smiley face. You’ve won his trust back!” Jaemin says so confidently as he rugs up in his scarf and tidies up Renjun’s while he’s at it, so confident that Renjun almost believes him.

  
  


“Yeah and pigs can fly.” Jaemin looks at him, affronted as he swings open their rickety front door and step into the hallway.

  
  


Renjun huffs and stabs the elevator button with his gloved finger.

  
  


“I get the guy is capable of dropping a grudge or at least acting civil with me, someone who has committed a major wrong against him, but I am putting myself on probation! I need to be—” Renjun pauses, trying to find the right word as the elevator door closes on them and Jaemin huddles closer to him for warmth.

  
  


“Good.” Renjun’s pathetic tone doesn’t help his poor choice of wording when Jaemin’s chapped lips form an ‘o’ shape, and Renjun nips him in the arm.

  
  


“Get your mind out of the gutter you prick. You _know_ what I mean,” Renjun stutters out and Jaemin giggles. Linking his arm within Renjun’s, they walk out of their complex and into the wintry swirl of the city. 

  
  


“Just be yourself and it’ll be fine. Make small talk about school, ask him about hockey, Canadians like hockey right, if he still makes music, still has that gargantuan crush on Dejun—” 

  
  


“I’m going to end you Jaemin. The ghost of you has to watch me replace you as your grandmother’s prized grandson and you’ll watch and suffer in the spiritual plane.” They walk into the Starbucks and a choked noise escapes Jaemin when they sit down after waving at Jungwoo, who knows their orders like the back of his hand. 

  
  


“ _Alright!_ Asshole.” Jaemin almost snivels. “What you’re going to do is, you’re going to rock up to Mark’s dorm, be polite, _yourself_ essentially, pile your shit in his car, be very accommodating with his most-likely faulty heater, something he probably has to hit several times before it starts up, not complain about the heinous number of Canadian artists in his playlist, and thank him profusely when you finish the drive! Easy.” 

  
  


Renjun hisses when he sips on his steaming hot black coffee, and Jaemin cackles with a most potent vindication laced in his voice.

  
  


“You’ll be fine. If anything, I really don’t think he hates you as much as you think he does Jun.” Jaemin says while slurping loudly on his Iced Americano. Renjun opens his mouth but Jaemin slams his gloved palm over his lips before he can utter a word of argument.

  
  


“And before you start running your mouth and telling me and yourself what an awful person you are because of this _one_ thing you did, your _one_ lapse of judgement, I want to tell you that if anything, I don’t think Mark hates himself _that_ much to agree to drive six hours back home with someone he despises greatly.” Renjun is stunned into silence when Jaemin removes his palm and stares at him imploringly. As if they haven’t had this conversation before countless times but as it grows closer to D-Day, Renjun has suddenly found the ability to be enlightened to truths he’d rather not face.

  
  


“I get that Mark is an innate people pleaser and doesn’t know how to say no a lot of the time but you and I both know he knows himself, has respect for himself, as well as a set of brains on him that lets him make informed decisions.” Jaemin looks at him knowingly and Renjun is pre-empting himself shirking away from this conclusion already. “Also known as, him saying yes, he can drive you home despite everything, and that he doesn’t want to wring your guts out to dry!” His best friend smiles so bright that Renjun feels he needs to lie down.

  
  


“Isn’t it annoying, being so sporadically intelligent, Jaemin?” 

  
  


“Listen to my stellar advice dickbag,” Jaemin says fondly, caressing the side of Renjun’s face that isn’t bundled in his scarf and Renjun huffs like a child riding the aftermath of a tantrum and unable to look their parents in the eye. 

  
  


“Fine. Fine, fine, maybe Mark doesn’t want me skewered on a stick but I still feel so guilty after all this time—should I buy him a present? Win back his good graces with a scented candle?” Renjun rambles and Jaemin sighs deeply, putting his hands on Renjun’s across the table, just missing the puddle of condensation from his own drink.

  
  


“If that makes you sleep better at night Renjun, so be it.” Jaemin says and that’s that on the topic. Renjun himself is getting tired of being such a consistent Debbie Downer especially around his light of a roommate and best friend, so he quickly changes the subject to Jaemin’s new film class. Seeing his eyes positively glow and hearing him talk animatedly about the new people he met in the class is enough to stave the anxiety away about the 23rd of December.

  
  


**D-DAY**

  
  


Renjun just might throw up. He’s up and ready by 6:30AM, now sitting by their little portable heater in the living room in silence. Mark had texted him last night reminding him of where his dorm was, and Renjun was, again, not immune to the smiley face he had added at the end of his text when he told him to sleep well. Considering all else however, Renjun is doing relatively well, duly ignoring the unsettling feeling swirling like molasses in his gut and refraining from stress-eating his worries away. 

  
  


“Babe, why are you awake?” Jaemin, decked out in North Face’s F/W 2020 collection, stumbles out of his bedroom and Renjun only shakes his head.

  
  


“I don’t know Jaem.” Renjun knows how pathetic he sounds but Jaemin only shuffles over to him and wraps him up in a puffy-jacket hug.

  
  


“You’ll be okay Jun. If anything you can text me on the way and I’ll entertain one of your silly little Word Hunt games, alright?” Jaemin mumbles into the curve of Renjun’s neck and Renjun lets out a shaky sigh, wrapping his arms around his roommate and best friend.

  
  


“Thank you Jaem.” _You’re wonderful, amazing, the greatest friend I could have asked for._ They go unsaid because Renjun knows Jaemin knows and they sit by the heater for another half hour until Jaemin has to run to the bathroom.

  
  


Renjun gathers himself, tells himself sternly that he’s being far too dramatic, and starts making himself breakfast. In their fridge, there is an impressive assortment of proteins, ranging from the expensive wagyu beef Jeno gave them the other week, something about winning it from a competition on Food Network, Renjun doesn’t remember the details, to the thousands of ziplock bags containing marinated chicken breast since Jaemin has been trying to bulk up. Renjun goes for the eggs and decides on a fried egg, rice, and Chinese fermented pickles that his parents had given him in bulk the last time he came home. 

  
  


While he’s drizzling the oil in the pan, he wonders if Mark has eaten breakfast yet. The clock reads 7:20AM. Unless Mark was planning to wake up at 7:55AM and go on an empty stomach, he should have eaten, or planning to eat soon. He starts on his egg first, standing two feet away from the stove and moving the egg around with his spatula like a crane as to avoid getting splattered in the face with hot oil, and then the second. For Mark. If anything this can work as his gift and apology simultaneously. There should be an apology language in the vein of making food for someone, right? 

  
  


Jaemin comes to his side from the bathroom and looks on at his pan.

  
  


“Jun, you know I’m not eating eggs right now. Or at least for today, it won’t fit into my macros.” 

  
  


“S’not for you, it’s for Mark.” 

  
  


Jaemin quirks one eyebrow at Renjun, and Renjun looks at him and huffs while sliding the eggs onto a plate.

  
  


“I’m making him breakfast. As a thanks and apology rolled into one,” Renjun says so matter-of-factly that Jaemin nods in approval.

  
  


“How do you know he hasn’t or won’t eat before you come though?” Renjun tippy-toes for a tupperware container and starts packing warm white rice into it. 

  
  


“I have a feeling he’s going to wake up late. Call it intuition but—” Both him and Jaemin immediately share a vision of Mark rolling unceremoniously out of bed at 8AM at the sound of the bell, shoving on his glasses and putting on the closest pair of pants he can find before opening the door for Renjun. The two of them don’t know Mark too well but they’ve met the guy and heard enough from Donghyuck as well as Jeno, Mark’s roommate, to know that he’s not the greatest with his time management for lack of a concise term, and it seems too true to just be a vision.

  
  


“Eat your heart out Gordon Ramsay,” Jaemin sing-songs before toddling back to his room for more Z’s and Renjun rolls his eyes. He takes out the lettuce from the fridge as well and goes about making this the nicest lunchbox Mark’s ever laid in his eyes on. Making a bed with the lettuce, he piles on the pickles, adds a few pieces of kimchi made by Jaemin’s mother, and places the egg gently on top. It’s by no means an adorable bento box straight out of a Korean stay-at-home mother’s vlog channel, but it should be enough to get Mark through the first three or four hours of the trip before they stop for lunch on the road. He takes out the seaweed laver from the pantry and adds three pieces to the side. While assembling and now admiring his masterpiece, his own egg goes cold beside him and he curses before dunking soy sauce on the broken yolk and mixing his bowl furiously. Now leaning closer towards 7:45AM than Renjun would like, he shoves the last morsels of his meal into his mouth and grabs his bags.

  
  


“BYE JAEM! BE SAFE!” Renjun garbles out and Jaemin yells back incoherently in response as he fumbles with his keys and locks the door.

  
  


Dashing down the stairs thanks to their faulty elevator, Renjun is slammed in the face with a biting wind as the door opens. He wraps his scarf higher to hide his cheeks as he power walks his way to Mark’s dormitory, bags adding an extra ten inches to his diameter as he stumbles down the pavements and squints to see in the snow. He makes it to the building relatively unscathed, only puffed out with Mark’s breakfast bordering on _bibimbap_ by the way it’s tumbled and turned while on his clearly tumultuous journey around the block. 

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_Hey Mark! Outside your building now._

  
  


Mark doesn’t respond within the next two minutes and Renjun might as well be stranded because it’s 8AM on Christmas Eve Eve and no one is milling around school, and the ones that _are_ , are not the most savoury of characters. Also known as the guy that won’t stop staring at him from beside the lamppost by the tree. He seems to edge closer to Renjun as the seconds go by and he doesn’t think he’ll make it to Christmas at this point.

And when he needed him most, Prince Charming Lee comes sweeping in to save the Renjun in Distress.

  
  


“Hey Renjun! Sorry for making you wait.” A gust of snowy air blows into the apartment as Mark swing the door wide open, bright-eyed and bespectacled, bundled up in his very own cashmere scarf. He ushers a stunned Renjun in with his hand on his waist and swiftly shuts the door behind him.

  
  


“Campus security can never get him to piss off for good,” Mark says apologetically, immediately slipping his fingers underneath the straps of Renjun’s bags and taking them up the stairs while Renjun stands stock still at the bottom, Mark’s breakfast still in his hand.

  
  


“Are you alright?” Mark stops at the top of the flight of stairs, staring down at Renjun, and Renjun, still taking in the fact that Mark is _talking_ to him, let alone carrying his bags, gets himself back together and shakes his head.

  
  


“I’m good,” he says softly, and Mark smiles before he opens the door with his foot and it opens with a deafening creak. Renjun slides in behind Mark and shuts the door behind him and sees that, well. Mark is well and fully packed and prepared, looking like _he_ was waiting for Renjun this entire time when it’s just hitting five to eight. 

  
  


Renjun feels a little bit of an idiot, standing with his legs shoulder-width apart, looking and feeling very much a stranger in this house, warm tupperware box still in his hands. His peace offering undercut by his own false assumption of Mark’s character.

  
  


“Did you want water or anything before we leave? I also need to grab your address—” 

  
  


“I made you breakfast,” Renjun simply utters out, his sense of pride outweighed by his mission to make good with Mark, outstretched hands holding the glassware towards the man in front of him. 

  
  


Mark is awful at concealing his emotions.

  
  


“I—oh, that’s kind of you. You really didn’t have to. Like really, I just ate.” He gestures guiltily to the dish rack where one bowl and one spoon sit, and Renjun visibly deflates. This moment may as well define their entire road trip, Renjun failing like it’s his second job, to get into Mark’s good graces. 

  
  


“But I could eat!” Mark all but snatches the box out of his hands, with eager hands. “Thank you Renjun, really,” he says quietly after, eyes peeking out from his glasses frames and Renjun lets himself crack a tiny grin.

  
  


“It’s nothing, Mark. Really.” Mark smiles sheepishly at that before he tucks the box into his duffel bag sitting on the table.

  
  


“Do we have to leave now? You should eat it here,” Renjun says, more concerned that he’d like to come off, considering it’s their first time seeing each other in God knows how long, but Mark glances at the clock on the wall before his eyes land back on Renjun.

  
  


“I guess I could eat it here.” Mark takes the container out of his bag again and gets settled on the dining stool, all the while Renjun stands a metre away, leaning on one leg and trying his best not to creep Mark out by staring him down as he eats Renjun’s food and instead, at his socked feet.

  
  


“Have a seat Renjun. Are you sure you don’t want water?” Mark gestures at the other stool and Renjun shakes his head again and gingerly seats himself down.

  
  


The awkward silence is so palpable, Renjun could wave his hand and hear something crack in the distance. Mark starts to poke around with a spoon before shovelling it into his mouth sans the grace that Renjun was expecting and instead, pleasantly surprised by. There is something very comforting about seeing a twenty-something college boy ravenously eating your food, nevertheless if it’s only the fried egg that you made.

  
  


“Dude, this is so good. Where can I get this?” Mark heaps a few pickled vegetables onto his spoon and points zealously at them, to which Renjun replies smoothly:

  
  


“We can get some from the Asian grocery at the town centre back home.” A beat. 

  
  


“If you want to, that is. It’s just where my parents got this for me. I can send you the address, yeah that’s—that’s probably better,” Renjun trails off into nothing, unable to meet Mark’s eyes even while the boy in front of him continues to chew, albeit softer and slower. It only takes a beat for Renjun to regret ever speaking, ever. A beat to remind Renjun that he really needs to stop getting so comfortable with people he barely knows, let alone those who despise him and for good reason. Though Mark hasn’t explicitly told Renjun to screw off yet, he thinks it’s due time to.

  
  


“I’d love that, actually. Haven’t been to that place in a while—d’ya think the owners still have that brown pomeranian that always barks at customers?” Mark says through a mouthful of rice and Renjun’s body saps itself of all its anxiety in the blink of an eye. 

  
  


“I think so, God that thing was so annoying.” 

  
  


Mark groans in agreement before scraping the rest of the rice in the container with a screech of metal against ceramic. 

  
  


“Thanks Renjun, I can wash it here just give me a second.” Mark waddles to the sink, his phone in between his legs as he balances the spoon and bowl in one and his water bottle in the other and Renjun tries his best not to snort at the sight.

  
  


“No it’s okay Mark, you don’t have to! It’s my parents’ anyway so I can wash it when I get home. But thank you,” Renjun says, almost bashfully like a blushing teen when Mark hands the tupperware back to him and their fingertips touch for a split second.

  
  


‘Get it together you fool!’ Renjun’s Idiot Sirens blare in his mind when Mark just nods stiffly, retracting his hand quickly before grabbing his bags and heading off in the opposite direction of the front door. 

  
  


“We can go through the back way to get to the parking lot.” Mark’s voice drifts and Renjun shoves the container into his backpack and runs after the sound of his voice descending down the stairs. 

  
  


There goes a tumultuous morning and Renjun is still not sure if Mark can stand him or not.

  
  


The snow has subsided just enough for Renjun not to be pelted in the face in the sections where his scarf and beanie don’t cover, and sure enough the car starts with enough gusto that he isn’t scared they won’t make it to the highway. 

Mark’s car is pleasantly clean, smelling of a faint floral car freshener and Renjun takes off his jacket and places it over his lap like a blanket.

  
  


“Are you cold? I can turn on the heater higher.” He moves to turn the dial and Renjun shakes his head adamantly, it seems for the nth time this morning. Mark being so attentive and well, _caring_ , is so foreign to Renjun, he can’t fathom what he must have done in his past life to deserve it. Call him dramatic, but it’s always nice to have someone offer to spend their fuel keeping you warm… or something like that.

  
  


“No no I’m fine, thank you.” 

  
  


“Let me know if you need it, mm?” Mark turns on the engine and backs out of the spot and does that _thing_. His hand goes grip the back of Renjun’s headrest as he reverses out and Renjun might just die.

  
  


Renjun’s too easy-to-impress, borderline shallow and morally corrupt, and _definitely_ finds Mark attractive in this moment. His glasses slide to the tip of his nose as he leans down to look at the back window, and then at both of his side mirrors before shifting back into drive. 

  
  


“It should be six hours, given the snow, but we can take a rest at the four hour mark, if that’s alright with you?” Mark asks and Renjun gathers the strength to actually look him in the eye when Mark turns to look at him.

  
  


“Yeah that’s good with me, I’m pretty good with long drives,” Renjun replies, taking out his phone to respond to his parents’ message in the group chat and Mark hums.

  
  


“When’s the last time you saw your parents?” They get to their first traffic light outside of campus and the street-lamps glow a muted yellow over the street.

  
  


“It’ll have to be two years now, I think?” Renjun says, guilt laced in his tone as Mark all but gasps loudly.

  
  


“That long?” Renjun is waiting for Mark to dismantle him right here right now and call him out for failing all of his filial duties, but gets hit instead with a:

  
  


“They must have really missed you. Are you excited to see them?” 

  
  


Renjun is shot with bullet after bullet of Mark Lee and the subversion of all Renjun’s preconceived notions and ideas of him, and it’s pleasantly surprising but also a punch in the gut to know that Renjun really did suck faces with Mark’s crush in front of him and practically ruined all chances of ever developing a friendship with him ever again. That is, if this road trip isn’t a complete dumpster fire either. 

  
  


“Y-yeah I really do. I just don’t have a car nor the funds to pay for a plane ride especially for such a relatively short distance so I haven’t gotten to see them in a while.” Renjun pauses, and Mark makes a sympathetic noise in response.

  
  


“So thank you, really Mark. For letting me catch a ride with you.” It’s Mark’s turn to vigorously shake his head.

  
  


“It’d be rude of me to say no when I’m practically driving to the exact same place as you, if anything, just the street over. It’s fine Jun.”

  
  


That’s new. Mark realises his slip and pointedly looks away from Renjun, who now, just lets himself smile, even though he thinks Mark is incorrect. He had many reasons to refuse Renjun, but he didn’t and Renjun wonders if that’s on Mark being too altruistic for his own good, or for Renjun having the audacity to ask in the first place. 

  
  


“You can call me Jun, it’s okay everyone calls me that,” Renjun says, hands fiddling in his lap and Mark scratches at the nape of his neck sheepishly, looking at Renjun for a split second before his eyes are on the road again as he switches lanes.

  
  


“Sorry, that just came out. Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

  
  


It’s like they’re playing a game of Polite Ping Pong and Renjun is determined to win. 

  
  


“It’s fine, really Mark. Donghyuck started calling me Jun on the first day we met and I didn’t even know who he was, so you’re good.” Renjun remembers a random boy slinging his hand around his neck and shaking his hand at the same time, on the first day of school, out here calling him _Jun_ while Jeno, the only person Renjun had officially met at the time, tried to pry his hands off and scold him for not knowing how to act around complete strangers. 

  
  


“Sounds like Donghyuck,” Mark says with an affectionate sigh tacked on the end, visibly relaxing to Renjun’s delight and he sighs back in response.

  
  


“He’s truly something. I can’t believe you’ve handled him for so long.” Mark laughs loudly at that and Renjun’s heart absolutely soars. To get Mark to laugh is incredibly easy—this is a maxim—but it doesn’t mean Renjun can’t relish in the joy of making him laugh anyway. He’s one step to winning Mark’s basic level of trust back and this is a very good progression of Renjun’s Mission. 

  
  


If seeing his cheekbones raise up and his eyes crinkle is a lovely sight, well. No one needs to know that but him. 

  
  


“Me neither. We’re born ten months apart, suddenly our parents are somehow best friends from college, and I spend almost every single summer with him in Jeju, getting jostled about and fed by his grandparents until I was busting my jeans in when we got to Grade Seven,” Mark speaks animatedly, his one free hand making wild gestures and Renjun lets a laugh bubble out him, very amused by the idea of a pudgy Mark and child terror Donghyuck running like madmen across town. Mark looks at him, face aglow with something of nostalgia mixed with something Renjun can’t pinpoint, by the way he’s looking at him intently. Renjun immediately quiets and just smiles back, while Mark immediately steers his gaze back onto the road. If his cheeks are red, Renjun is deeming that the cold.

  
  


Does Renjun have an ugly laugh? Is that it? Just when he thinks he’s gained some distance, he falls back three steps and Renjun is starting to think this is may be an impossible task after all.

  
  


“Yeah, I can see that happening very vividly,” Renjun comments and Mark lets a smile crack through, and it makes Renjun realise just how handsome of a side profile Mark has. 

  
  


Objectively speaking, of course.

  
  


“They were always fun though. I’m really glad we ended up at the same school in the end.” Mark looks directly at Renjun when he speaks and he’d be lying if he loses his breath for a second. 

  
  


“Despite my intense distrust of that man and what he stands for, I’d say the same,” Renjun says and Mark giggles again before silence falls over them. The air is thick with the heater going on and the fact that Renjun is trying his hardest not to flub this one attempt he has at being Mark’s friend. Yet the apology he’s been harbouring over the past months since the Incident lingers like a bad aftertaste in his mouth. It’s long overdue but as they say, better late than never, right?

  
  


Renjun at least owes it to Mark to say something to him about that night. Though he doesn’t want to risk getting thrown out of the car in the middle of shit-nowhere, it’ll eat him up inside until he spits it out. A niggling voice at the back of his brain tells him Mark would never do anything of the sort, but imagining Mark to be completely barren of remorse is what Renjun is deluding himself, acting as fuel for him to try his hardest to get on his good side and not get off easy from his felony all those nights ago. Call Renjun dramatic but he’s free.

  
  


“Do you want me to put on some music? I hope my playlist is okay…” Mark trails off, as he presses the Bluetooth option on the screen and Shawn Mendes drifts out from the speakers. 

  
  


“You’ve passed my vibe check, it’s fine seriously,” Renjun lies through his teeth but if Mark beams like _that_ , he’s not going to mention a word about the heinous number—the sheer _presence_ —of Justin Bieber in here, not at all. 

  
  


“If you want to queue songs though, go ahead. My password is 0000.” Mark passes his phone over to Renjun, who feels like he’s just been handed a block of gold and and a phone.

  
  


“Your password is 0000?!” 

  
  


“I know! I know! It’s just my memory is shit and there’s nothing important that I can’t get back from there anyways.” The grown man practically sulks in the driver’s seat and Renjun snorts.

  
  


“I wasn’t thinking anyone would hack your phone, just that people could fire some embarrassing texts and emails off here, that’s all.” Renjun keeps the phone perched on his thighs and Mark makes a horrible sound in his throat. 

  
  


“You _wouldn’t_.” 

  
  


“Bet a guy like you has gems in this photo gallery.” Renjun swings the iPhone precariously by the corner with his fingertips and Mark looks anguished and half-a-second from veering the car into the side of the road.

  
  


“I’m kidding Markie, wouldn’t dare think of such thing.” 

  
  


Mark doesn’t comment on the nickname and Renjun doesn’t let his embarrassment leak through a rosy blush. Instead, Mark narrows his eyes on him as they turn into the intersection and he brakes at the red light.

  
  


“You’re on thin ice dude.” Renjun throws up his hands in mock surrender and Mark rolls his eyes, leaning back into his seat, one finger curled around the wheel. They share a look before bursting into giggles and Renjun’s chest swells with warmth. The sun has finally decided to come out and the morning snow has become dust illuminated by the rays filtering through the clouds.

  
  


“Do you visit your family every winter break?” Renjun asks out of curiosity and Mark shakes his head.

  
  


“I try to, but I couldn’t drive out the past two years because I had work and some other things to deal with,” he replies and Renjun wonders how Mark can hold that much in those eyes of his.

  
  


“They must miss you lots too,” Renjun utters in response and Mark smiles at that. His lips don’t quite curl up all the way but it’s more than enough for Renjun. 

  
  


10 000 Hours starts to play and Renjun can’t help but sing along. This song is a guilty pleasure, something Renjun only sings passionately in the shower, but he makes this an exception to show Mark that yes, he does unironically enjoy Justin Bieber as well. 

  
  


_“Do you love the rain, does it make you dance—”_

  
  


_“When you're drunk with your friends at a party.”_

  
  


Mark has a pretty voice, Renjun thinks absentmindedly to himself. It’s got the grit of someone who hasn’t quite warmed up yet, but everything sweet about a vocal tone that goes perfectly with acoustic songs. Renjun continues the rest of the lyrics, mimicking a microphone with Mark’s phone in his hand and Mark continues to harmonise with him in a slightly muddled rendition but still wonderful in that car-trip-collaboration kind of way, of the song. Mark is bright when he sings, eyes closed and passionately churning out the lyrics, memorised them like the back of his hand and Renjun wishes he could capture this moment. 

Two boys in a car singing along to Dan and Shay, just missing the correct pitches by a semitone but belting it out like it’s their last. 

If Renjun wasn’t so hellbent on getting Mark to forgive him than anything else, he might have just let himself like Mark a little more than he should.

  
  


The rest of the next two hours progress along those same lines, Renjun singing passionately to the smattering of John Mayer within the playlist, as well as the Frank Ocean and stray Doja Cat song, and Mark following on after him. Both of them start to go hoarse by the third hour and it’s then that the GPS indicates the McDonald’s closest to them is coming up rapidly and Mark quickly signals and pulls into the lot. 

  
  


“Is someone hungry?” Mark asks teasingly when Renjun’s stomach lets out a gurgle at the sight of the red and yellow and Renjun pinks.

  
  


“Don’t forget to lock your car,” Renjun grumbles out when he sees that Mark is enjoying himself a little too much at Renjun’s expense (and the fact that his stomach would _not_ stop making several noises even after the first) and stalks off first.

  
  


Mark jogs after him, steps making imprints in the snow with a satisfying crunch and he walks, shoulder to shoulder with Renjun, albeit Renjun’s own shoulder just missing Mark’s by half-an-inch. 

  
  


Mark holds the door for him, which must be the umpteenth thing that happened today that makes Renjun’s heart skip a beat when it _shouldn’t_ , and Renjun nods him in thanks before shuffling into the joint, careful not to track too much snow in with him. 

  
  


“What do you wanna get? My shout.” Renjun takes his hand out of his sleeve to use the self-serve machine and Mark hip checks Renjun out of the way.

  
  


“No it’s okay, I’ll pay. What do you want?” Mark taps on his own order before he looks at Renjun expectantly.

  
  


A violent memory of his aunties bruising each other over the bill at dinner time comes back to him in that moment.

  
  


“A medium quarter pounder meal please, with water.” And just as Mark stabs in the order and selects card payment, Renjun shoves his debit card into the machine. 

  
  


“Dude!” Renjun stabs in his pin before staring Mark down as best as he can with his height. 

  
  


“Bite me.” Mark’s eyebrows crease in despair before he steps back. 

  
  


“What’s your Venmo?” Mark asks even as they’re waiting for their order and it’s Renjun’s turn to frown.

  
  


“Don’t mention it, Mark.” Mark doesn’t catch the reference until a second later and shakes his head slowly.

  
  


“That was _different_ though—”

  
  


“Blah blah, come on, the food’s done. Did you want to eat here or in the car?” Renjun doesn’t bother to listen to Mark sputtering and takes the brown paper bags off the counter when their number is called.

  
  


“Car,” Mark says miserably and Renjun bites his lip as to not laugh at Mark’s shoulders hanging so low as if he’d just had someone take his ice-cream away from him. 

  
  


When they get back into the car, Mark cranks up the heater again and Renjun settles himself comfortably before saying:

  
  


“Don’t sulk Markie, you can spot next time.” 

  
  


He doesn’t really think before he says it, but the way Mark concedes so easily and smiles at that—Renjun is a weak man who is very much partial to Mark Lee smiling for some unknown reason, and he’d give anything Mark wanted for it. 

  
  


Well, that’s a not-so-friendly thought. 

  
  


“Pinky promise?’ Mark gives him his non-greasy pinky with a hopeful grin and Renjun, heart heavy with a realisation he’d rather have not realised, hooks onto it with his own. 

  
  


“You can’t back out now,” Mark says triumphantly when he lets go and takes a large bite of his burger.

  
  


Renjun, weakly, exclaims, “Oh no. You got me.” 

  
  


The fact that he promised a next time with Mark in conjunction with the fact that he admitted to himself that he _likes_ seeing Mark smile, even as so much to be the _reason_ for this smile, is not what he wanted to get out of this. This is not the outcome he wanted out of this road trip. Not at _all_. He sinks into his seat and practically inhales the rest of his meal out of stress while Mark happily and slowly finishes the rest of his burger and tucks the fries away in the side compartment. 

  
  


“Do you need the bathroom before we leave?” Mark says after he sanitises his hands and Renjun shakes his head vehemently, sitting up with one leg under his knee. 

  
  


“I’m okay, do you need to go?” Mark nods guiltily and Renjun shoos him out of the car.

  
  


When he gets out of the car and starts jogging towards the McDonald’s, Renjun puts his hood over his face and screams.

  
  


Why did the Gods punish him this way? What more has he done than suck faces with Dejun in a bout of inebriation? 

  
  


He knows Mark is attractive. He knows Mark is a hardworking college student balancing a thousand roles on his shoulders plus an expensive passion for music. Renjun knows these things because these too, are just maxims. Facts that everyone knows about Mark Lee. Renjun knows a great deal more about Mark Lee than others might, and it comes with the fact that he’s best friends with his best friend and that, well, despite all he says about not being close to Mark, he’s always been interested.

In his defence, who _isn’t_ interested in Mark Dreamboat Lee? He’s handsome, _plays the guitar_ , has this endearing cackle for a laugh, a stunning smile and sparkly eyes if Renjun’s ever seen them, and is so endlessly kind to everyone and anyone. He’s perfect.

  
  


But Renjun thought he blew it the moment he kissed Dejun Xiao at that party. Thought he’d never be able to face Mark again because Drunk Little Renjun wanted to just kiss someone, _anyone_ , and the closest someone to him was none other than Mark’s object of love and affection. 

The key word here however, is _thought_. 

Because they’re three hours into this trip, Renjun has basically succeeded at not making Mark hate him even more than he believed he already did, which is not much at all, if Mark’s disposition to be overly caring and welcome to Renjun’s dumb antics is anything to go by, and he is openly admitting to himself that Mark is cute. Cute in a not-so-friendly way. 

  
  


Man, he is so fucked.

  
  


Mark almost trips on the ice before he falls unceremoniously back into the driver’s seat and Renjun lets out a soulless laugh at that. What is it about clumsy boys that makes them so easy to adore? 

  
  
  


“Shut up, it was slippery.” Mark huffs before the engine starts again and Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean begins to play.

  
  


Is there such thing as foreshadowing in real life? Does Fate ever work in twisted ways as to play Frank Ocean while Renjun is adamant on not thinking about how perfect Mark is? 

  
  


It’s as if a lingering thought, repressed by Renjun’s hard attempts at wiping himself of all unpleasant memories and thoughts, has broken the tamper seal and come flooding out. 

  
  


“You okay there Jun?” Mark asks, concern laced in his voice and Renjun again, shakes his head.

  
  


“Yeah I’m good, just a little tired.” 

  
  


“Get some rest then. I’ll wake you up when we get there.” If Renjun was absolutely off his rockers, he would think there was something akin to sadness in those pretty eyes of Mark’s. He closes his eyes and tries hard not to think about the absolute devastation in Mark’s eyes when he saw him illuminated under those neon lights in Yukhei’s living room.

  
  


Renjun wakes up bleary-eyed to Mark humming along to SZA and another white-dusted road in front of them. 

  
  


“Sleep well?” Mark asks, looking down at Renjun, who has wrapped himself up in a ball in the passenger seat and smiles affectionately again.

  
  


Renjun doesn’t catch it and just unfurls with a yawn. 

  
  


“How long until we get home?” Renjun asks softly, and Mark responds in kind with a “forty minutes,” before they drive into an unpaved road.

  
  


Renjun doesn’t know why he keeps thinking about apologising. He could live life pleasantly if they never spoke about it. Mark could have forgotten for all Renjun knows.

Okay that’s a lie, because everyone in their friend group remembers, and by default, that becomes an established truth. 

  
  


But Renjun knows he won’t be able to let it go until he dies, and if it possibly rescinds all the distance he’s made over the past five hours, so be it. Renjun will be sad again, but that’s nothing he can’t get over. The permanent loss of an olive branch extended by Mark is something he’ll be able to stomach in due time. 

Here goes nothing.

  
  


“Hey Mark, I—I want to apologise.” 

  
  


“For what?” Mark looks at him, confused and Renjun takes in a breath.

  
  


“For kissing Dejun that night.” 

  
  


Mark looks at him long and hard, before he sighs himself.

  
  


“So is that why you were acting so weird before?” 

  
  


It’s Renjun’s turn to look at him in confusion.

  
  


“Renjun, I forgave you for that a long, long time ago. Practically the week after it happened,” Mark says so nonchalantly that Renjun is floored. 

  
  


“I—but, you—why did you text me so formally?!” Renjun stutters out and Mark makes an affronted noise.

  
  


“Because _you_ texted me so formally?! I wasn’t going to hit you up with a ‘sure lol XD’ when you were speaking to me like we were strangers!” Mark exclaims and Renjun looks at his face in the side mirror and groans. 

  
  


“Renjun, you moron,” he murmurs to himself with his head in his hands and Mark scoffs.

  
  


“So all this time, you were holding that in waiting to tell me?” Mark asks in a mix of curiosity and astonishment.

  
  


“Well, yeah! I thought you hated me after that.” Renjun feels rather stupid when he says it out loud. Mark has always been a rational person and realistically, if he felt so awful about it, there is no amount of self-sacrificing anyone would do, even someone with a heart not only filled but gilded in gold, to offer to sit in the car with someone they hated with all of their being.  
  


“Jun, I could never hate you. You were drunk and we all do stupid shit when we’re drunk. Dude, I told you I liked Dejun when _I_ was drunk,” Mark says, and while Renjun is busy hiding his face in his hands, hitting his head repeatedly, Mark is still smiling at him.

  
  


“Plus, he actually is dating Yukhei now so there we are.”

  
  


“If that’s supposed to make me feel better about being an absolute idiot, it’s not working,” Renjun whines and Mark goes and pulls over suddenly.

  
  


“Renjun, look at me.” 

  
  


Reluctantly, he does peel his hands away and looks up at Mark. Mark extends his hand out and Renjun just stares at it as if it’s alien.

  
  


“A handshake. We’re good now, okay?” Mark assures him, with that assuring smile of his and Renjun tentatively extends out his own.

  
  


“Okay. I’m sorry though.” 

  
  


Mark lightly slaps his hand which has Renjun being overdramatic as per usual and reeling away.

  
  


“What was that for?!”  
  
  


“Don’t apologise anymore, alright? It’s water under the bridge,” Mark almost demands and Renjun hesitantly nods.

  
  


His hand is warm and he keeps it in his lap when Mark signals back onto the street.

  
  


“You’re so—is this why you haven’t been coming out with Jaemin and Donghyuck these past few weeks?” At Renjun’s silence, Mark sighs in defeat.

  
  


“You’re something else Renjun Huang.”

  
  


“Hey, I _agonised_ over that for ages! Let me reflect in peace!” Renjun sputters and Mark rolls his eyes again, whipping his head around to smile cheekily at Renjun.

  
  


“Cute.”

  
  


Renjun refuses to acknowledge that and goes back to putting his hood over his head and ignoring Mark. Even when EXO comes on and Mark goads him to sing with him, he doesn’t budge. 

  
  


“Renjun, we’re almost there.” 

  
  


Only then, does Renjun come out of his cave and he sees his street sign. Mark turns in and drives slowly, the car running over the uneven asphalt.

  
  


“The one with the cherry blossom tree. Yup, right here.” Renjun goes to unbuckle before Mark gets out of the car to grab Renjun’s bags for him. 

  
  


Even until the very end, he’s a gentleman.

  
  


“Thanks Mark.” Renjun shrugs on his backpack and his duffel on his other shoulder, before he locks eyes again with Mark, who hasn’t _stopped_ smiling,

  
  


“Are you still going to come with me to the grocer’s?” Mark asks hopefully, eyes shining and Renjun is not strong enough for this.

  
  


“You—fine. Fine. Text me when you’re free and I’ll meet you outside your house. Is that all?” Mark opens his mouth to speak. “Okay, I’ll see you, bye and thanks for the ride—” Renjun turns to walk into his driveway before a hand grabs at his wrist.

  
  


“Do you need a ride back home?” 

  
  


“No, my cousin is going back the same way so I’m going to go with him. But thanks Mark, really,” Renjun says, sincerely and Mark quickly drops his hand when he realises he’s been holding it the entire time. 

  
  


“Ah, okay. I’ll see you then,” he says with a bashful grin and Renjun waves goodbye.

  
  


“Text me if you want those pickles so bad!” Renjun yells when he reaches his front door and Mark is just about to get into his car.

  
  


“Will do! Merry Christmas Jun!” 

  
  


Renjun smiles this time, big and wide, and yells it back. 

  
  


Mark waits for Renjun’s parents to open the door, and envelop him in a rib-crushing hug before he drives off.

  
  


Renjun gets peppered in hugs and kisses from the rest of his family, save for his cousins Chenle and Yangyang who have deigned themselves Renjun’s Terrorisers as they ask him how he got here and upon hearing that the guy Renjun made out with (”I didn’t make out with _him_! It was his crush!” Renjun yells and Yangyang and Chenle chorus in a “oooooooh” that infuriates him even more), they yelp like teenaged girls. 

He ignores them and starts helping his grandma out in the kitchen, answering questions about school from his prying aunties and uncles, before cleaning up the corner next to the house so they can assemble the Christmas tree tomorrow. 

Sure enough, the man of the hour texts Renjun the day after with a ‘let’s go on the 27th!’ and Renjun replies with a ‘sounds g 2 me’, with some difficulty considering Chenle is peering over his shoulder at every moment. Mark responds back with a sticker and Renjun closes his phone with a grin. 

  
  


Christmas has always been a quiet affair with the Huangs and the rest of the extended family, but with Renjun around, his parents have now plugged in the karaoke machines and his grandma won’t stop bringing him out to dance with her. 

When he finally gets a minute to himself, he opens his phone to text Donghyuck and Jaemin with a selfie he took with his grandma earlier in the day, but receives another notification.

  
  


**_mark_ **

_merry xmas jun! hope you’re_

_having a good one w your_

_fam :)_

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_merry xmas to you too markie_

_also my entire family is tearing_

_the house down with their_

_karaoke :(_

  
  


**_mark_ **

_hey that’s sounds pretty_

_good to me! do you think_

_we could outdo them :D_

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_only a fool would believe_

_they would be able to beat_

_grandma huang at her own game_

  
  


**_mark_ **

_i guess i am then :’)_

_i think we’d do a pretty good_

_all i want for christmas is you_

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_keep dreaming_

  
  


**_mark_ **

_your lack of belief in us_

_wounds me_

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_don’t cry aha ur so sexy!!1!_

  
  


**_mark_ **

_too late i’m sobbing as we speak_

  
  


Renjun sends him the same selfie that he did to Jaemin and Donghyuck.

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_[image attached]_

_big baby_

_but anyways here’s me_

_and the queen herself_

  
  


**_mark_ **

_dude she’s so cute T__T_

_i gotta go wash the dishes_

_talk 2 u later jun :)_

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_bye loser!_

  
  


Mark dislikes his message, Renjun laughs to himself before he finally joins his grandma in singing The Moon Represents My Heart and goes to bed thinking about pickles and sparkly eyes. 

They do end up going to get pickles together, and Mark almost stacks it in front of Renjun _again_ when he walks out of his house, and Renjun can’t stop laughing for the majority of their walk to the centre. Amongst the pickles, they pick up a variety of Asian snacks and Renjun does some shopping for his parents while Mark pokes around and gasps at the selection of Korean snacks and instant foods available.

Renjun doesn’t want to think of it as a date, but when Mark offers to buy him ice-cream to pay him back for the McDonald’s, Renjun easily concedes and then they’re sitting inside the parlour and their feet are just shy of touching underneath the table.

Mark tells him about how his older brother got him a proper microphone so he can record his demos with near perfect quality instead of the forty-dollar-one he purchased off Ebay and Renjun tells him that his parents bought him a new set of watercolour paints. Renjun is reminded again of how excited Mark gets when he’s talking about something he loves, and how his eyes shine like loose glitter when he listens to Renjun talk. 

  
  


They’re all not quite jarring reminders as much as they are just, reminders, that Renjun just might have a chance with this hotshot. Sure it’s not a high one, but hope has always been Renjun’s most constant love-hate relationship. It might bite him in the ass if Mark doesn’t catch the hint and Renjun is bro-zoned, but for all he knows, Mark just might find him not all that bad either.

  
  


“Mark, did you—maybe when we get back home, would you want to grab dinner?” Renjun says as Mark walks him up to his mailbox and the way Mark looks at him, a smile creeping over his face, is nothing short of adorable.

  
  


“I’d love that, Jun.” They’re standing way too close to each other to be friendly, and when Mark goes for patting Renjun on the shoulder after they’ve spent the last thirty seconds just staring at each other, not knowing what to say next, Renjun goes for gold.

  
  


He drops his bags and tiptoes to kiss Mark on the cheek.

  
  


“Bye Markie!” 

  
  


He leaves Mark stunned at the bottom of his driveway.

  
  


**_mark_ **

_you’re terrible_

_when and what time?_

  
  


**_renjun_ **

_next week, on the 2nd!_

_and you like me anyway <3 _

  
  


Mark heart reacts to that. 

  
  


If Renjun had a set of brains on him, he would know that going on a six-hour-long road trip with someone who hates his guts is not a good idea. But it’s good news that he doesn’t because in the end, he ends up with a date with someone who doesn’t really hate him at all. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/renminsungs) \+ [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/jukevs)


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